I recently wrote another post about writing and how it helps with PTSD, you can read it here.

A book has been on my to-do list since I was around 13 or 14. Back then, I wrote a few chapters of a story on my parents’ computer called “Dolan’s Voyage.” It was a Navy-themed tale about a war over the colonization of Antarctica. I saved it on a floppy disk, but I have no idea what happened to it. Lost to time, I guess.

Writing has always been a part of my life, but only on my own terms. I never enjoyed writing assignments or having topics chosen for me. I like to write when the mood strikes. Over the years, I’ve written short stories, but most of them are scattered, possibly even floating around the internet under names I can’t remember. For me, writing is a release—a way to organize the constant swirl of thoughts that come with ADHD and PTSD.

When my mind is overwhelmed, writing is often the only way I can quiet it. It’s also a way to pass time when I’m somewhere I’d rather not be. I’ve been creating stories in my head for years—The Shattered Shield started that way. It evolved from ideas that popped into my head during those wandering moments.

I tried doing things the “right” way, with outlines and character bios, like so many writing guides suggest. I even made a few drafts, but I didn’t find it all that helpful. What worked for me was knowing how I wanted the story to start, where it needed to go, and what kind of ending I envisioned. Then I’d write—until I lost interest and moved on to something else. Rinse and repeat.

The more I let the story sit and evolve, the more my characters grew, and the more I changed as a writer. The ending of The Shattered Shield looks nothing like what I originally imagined when I jotted down notes on my phone. At first, the story took place a few more years into the future and involved a secret stealth carrier swooping in for a dramatic rescue. Now, those original ideas are just bits and pieces stored in a Word document, and sometimes I go back to it for inspiration. Maybe one or two concepts will appear in my next book. Who knows?

Of the original characters, only John made it into the final version. The others wrote themselves out, in a way. John’s name is mine spelled backward, with my sister’s last name thrown in. I created new characters to support him as the story grew. Some of them were inspired by people I know, but over time they’ve taken on their own identities and don’t resemble their real-life counterparts much anymore.

While The Shattered Shield is set in the future, my second book is set in the present. I’m considering bringing back some characters from my first book, but as their younger selves, since they’ve become important to me as the story progressed.

One thing I’ve wanted to do with my writing is to help others. In The Shattered Shield, there’s a secondary theme about the main character developing PTSD from the events in the story. It wasn’t as big of a focus as I initially planned, but it’s still there. My second book will dive deeper into that. I’m not an expert, just someone living with it, but I hope that by writing from my personal experience, readers might recognize something and feel encouraged to seek help if they need it.