There is a time in my mind,
A time I want to go back to,
A time before everything went bad,
A time where everything felt okay.
The light was softer then,
Not because the sun was different,
But because I still believed
In things I don’t believe now.
I know that time is gone,
And that person—me—is gone too.
What I’d recognize there
Wouldn’t recognize me.
And even if I stood in that moment again,
Wore the same clothes,
Heard the same laughter,
Breathed the same air
It wouldn’t matter.
The break was coming.
It was always coming.
Still, I drift to it in quiet moments,
Trace its outline in memory like braille,
Hoping to feel something clear.
Not closure, not peace
Just the weight of who I was
Before I became what I am.
I don’t want to live there again.
I just want to visit,
Long enough to remember
What it felt like
To not know
How bad it would get.
